“The Mirror of Narcissa is more than a story — it’s the map God used to walk me back through the chambers of my own soul, one layer at a time, until I could see who I really was and who I was always meant to be. This moment is one of those steps — a letting go that made space for the life He had planned all along.”
A Story About Letting Go, Making Space, and Following God’s Next Step
God has been leading me to be more honest about the spiritual path I’ve walked — not just the polished version of where I’ve ended up, but the vulnerable, in-process truth of how I got here.
Jesus knows I love Him. God knows, too. They know how deeply I cherish our personal relationship. That will always be the foundation of my life. But lately, I’ve realized something I can’t ignore: I’m not supposed to skip the steps that are harder to talk about.
I’m reminded of something I once wrote in Beauty:
“Learning as we are able to, and not always as we may like, by trying to fast-forward to where we think we want to be. Each occurrence is meant to be a lesson for growth and knowledge gained. Our strength and ability to persevere is what builds this knowledge and makes us beautiful.”
The Way I Grow
For years, I’ve wanted to be exactly where I am right now. This has been a painstaking twelve-year journey — one I chose to walk slowly so I wouldn’t miss a single step.
I fought hard through the darkest nights of the soul — alone, with only God, my faith, my animals, and the quiet understanding that no one can walk into your darkness with you. That is a solitary passage.
The last five years, I’ve been intentionally quiet — choosing to be alone with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, nature, and my family. Learning this new me. I thought this stillness was preparing me to teach, share, and write from this vantage point.
But now I see God has called me back — to revisit, to gather, to weave together the threads I didn’t yet know I was carrying.
I never could have guessed what He’s asked me to do next. And yet, it feels exactly right. I’m inspired again — creating from the well up — working with a vigor that shows me I am finally in my true placement, free again.
The Facebook “Accident”
Take the day I deleted all my Facebook accounts three years ago next month. To the outside world, it looked impulsive. But I had been wrestling with the idea for a long time. That morning, I only meant to make them private while I decided if I was truly ready to walk away.
But before my coffee, before my glasses — click. Gone.
I don’t believe in accidents, so there I sat in disbelief, quietly laughing and crying at the same time. This thing I’d been avoiding was suddenly done. And deep down, I knew it was God making room.
Why Letting Go Matters
In my work, I talk about this often: you can’t be filled to the brim and still expect to receive something new. If your hands are clenched around what was, they can’t open to receive what’s next.
Letting go isn’t comfortable. It can feel like loss, even when it’s freedom. But it’s necessary.
Where I Am Now
Right now, my life is being rearranged by The Mirror of Narcissa. This isn’t just another writing project — it’s the spiritual excavation of my life, told through the lens God gave me to see it: the myth, the mirror, and the chambers of my own soul.
Being back at Sofia University for my graduate studies is part of it. One of my summer courses for the MATP program — Symbols, Myths, & Archetypes — was required. It wasn’t my first choice, but I felt led to take it. I also wanted to work with the professor, Dr. Robert Wood, so I said yes.
Sure enough — it’s already blowing doors open in ways I didn’t see before. That’s how God works.
I’m in unfamiliar territory that feels familiar, and I’m listening closely — not just to my motivations, but to where God is asking me to go. I’ve learned the difference: my plans may be good, but His are always better.
I don’t know exactly what’s next. But I do know this — when we make space, God fills it. And what He fills it with is always better than what we were holding onto.
I remember Jeremiah 29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
He truthfully does know that I am beside myself every day, for the gift of life — and for the gift of the new me.
With grace and presence,
Kellie J. Wright
Transformation Guide | Author | Speaker
Creator of Internal Journeys™ Internal Narcissus™ Internal Narcissa™
Host of the From Light to Christ™ Podcast
“Truth and beauty are only a flip of the switch away.”
www.kelliejwright.com
Want to go deeper in your own journey?
Internal Narcissus: From Darkness to Light (Workbook)