I Love Myself When…
I love myself exactly as I am.
I love myself when I love every cell in my body, every thought I entertain, create, push away, pull back, or linger within. I love myself when I accept that where I have brought myself is simply where I am; down the road and around the bend of a conscious life lived with my best intentions at heart.
I love myself when I accept my light and my dark, remembering that they are not separate, but equal parts of the whole.
All the versions of me are one.
I love myself when I let go with love, knowing that every path I have walked has become one road — forever forward, never behind.
I love myself when I forgive myself. I love myself when I forget to, because I am forgiven.
I love the woman who walked through a broken marriage and relationships that ended before she understood how to remain. I love the woman who worried she was doing everything wrong while trying with all her heart to do what she thought was right.
I love myself when I want to stop, yet keep going on this path, even when I do not know where it is leading except straight home to God.
I love myself when I remember the waking mystery of the Cross and the gift of faith. I love myself when I dine upon sunsets and sunrises as sacred nourishment, because they are holy invitations to remember His love.
I love myself for choosing to stay when I wanted to run.
I love myself for taking the long road that is still unfolding.
I love myself when I hold too much water.
I love myself for choosing to heal the first version of love woven into my stress response before I even knew those words or understood their meaning.
I love myself for running toward the Light and never looking away, because that is where God is.
I love myself for knocking on doors — of words, of trust, of fear — to discover that the secret elixir has always been love, and love has always been light.
I love myself for accepting this extraordinary placement in life, trusting that I do not have to arrive because I am here.
I love myself when I do not resist love.
Love means calm.
Love means protected.
Love means breathing all the way into your belly and fully back out again.
Love means the vagal nerve is no longer trapped in defense.
Love means the stress response is no longer waiting for something to happen.
I could not have explained this at the beginning of my journey.
Love could.
Love understands thoughts.
Love understands generational healing.
Love understands broken relationships.
Love understands shame.
Love understands regret.
Love understands fear.
Love understood the ache of not being able to hold on to what I longed for — or what was never mine to hold.
Love knew.
I was still learning.
But the body remembers what the mind has not yet fully rewritten.
And still…
beneath all of it…
Love never left.
Love was never asking me to become someone else.
Love was asking me to stop resisting who I already am.
To forgive her.
To stay with her.
To love her.
To heal the parts of her that were left hurting.
Even when I forget.
Even when fear comes calling.
Even when I am still learning.
Because beneath every version of me, every story, every ending, every beginning, and every road I have traveled…
Love never left.
This is Love II of III in The Love Series.
If you are still learning how to love yourself exactly as you are…
So am I.
And still, we love.
In Love & Light,
Kellie J. Wright
Internal Narcissa
Self-Love Karma
Internal Narcissus | Internal Journeys, LLC